Conflicts with Your Parents

This is certainly a touchy subject, one that could be affected both by financial issues and your mother’s fear of you growing up and moving away. I suggest speaking with her about how you’re now an adult and are ready to take on certain financial responsibilities in order to improve your quality of life. In particular, I suggest stressing that impact your commute is having on your grades, your ability to become involved in your school’s community, and your ability to forge friendships with your classmates. Remind her how important all of these factors are not only to your mental and emotional health and growth, but also the value of living on or near campus and being able to partake in school events and activities will have on your ability to get a job later.

If that doesn’t work, perhaps you could ask a family member (perhaps your father or a close aunt, uncle, or grandparent) to reason with your mother. I suspect that your mother’s consternation over the possibility of moving out has quite a bit to do with her own fear of not being able to protect you and keep you close, and someone close to both of you may be best equipped to alleviate these fears.

Keep in mind that if you're over 18, you may be able to take out student loans on your own, although you might need an adult cosigner. I'm sure this would be the last resort, as you don't want to alienate your parent, and I also recognize that they may now be contributing to or paying your tuition. It's something to keep in mind, however, if all else fails.

Also, I'd suggest speaking to someone in your school's financial aid office. They may have some other ideas as to how you can get help paying for your room and board.

Good luck!

It sounds like you're in a tough situation, but maybe things will work out for you. Let's consider a few different things. First of all, have you demonstrated respect for your parents as you're trying to talk through this issue with them? A little respect goes a long way in your conversations with them. Secondly, do you know the reasons why your parents want you to attend their preferred school? Maybe they have some valid perspectives about it (whether financial reasons, location reasons, etc). Try to understand where they're coming from, and that way you'll be able to empathize with their viewpoints even if you don't agree with them. Thirdly, you could potentially make a thoughtful and intelligent case for your intent to attend a different college. Why would another college be better than the college they are suggesting? Maybe there are even some actual facts and figures you could show them. I think if you do your research, gather some "evidence" (think of a lawyer preparing a court case), and present it to your parents in a way that addresses all their potential concerns, they may be able to recognize that you have some reasonable viewpoints, and they could possibly be willing to be flexible about their position.

Lastly, I think it could be good for you to talk to your school counselor, academic advisor, teacher or other trusted adult about this. Chances are that another adult could help you approach your parents and work through the situation together. Above all, don't give up hope! You sound like you're very sure of what you want to do, and that's great. I think together you could figure out a way to get to where you want to be.