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Conflicts with your parents

I live close to school so the commute is not too bad. But I find it really hard to make friends, and it's very stressful for me to commute. I want to know how it is to experience life on my own. My parents, specifically my mom, tell me we dont' have the money for room and board. When I told her I was willing to take out student loans to make the payments, she told me it wasn't a good idea. How can I convince her that it is?

This is certainly a touchy subject, one that could be affected both by financial issues and your mother’s fear of you growing up and moving away. I suggest speaking with her about how you’re now an adult and are ready to take on certain financial responsibilities in order to improve your quality of life. In particular, I suggest stressing that impact your commute is having on your grades, your ability to become involved in your school’s community, and your ability to forge friendships with your classmates. Remind her how important all of these factors are not only to your mental and emotional health and growth, but also the value of living on or near campus and being able to partake in school events and activities will have on your ability to get a job later.

After all, so much of getting a job after college is about the connections you make during college. If you’re unable to make those connections because you’re commuting, you may find yourself living with your parents long after you graduate from college.

If that doesn’t work, perhaps you could ask a family member (perhaps your father or a close aunt, uncle, or grandparent) to reason with your mother. I suspect that your mother’s consternation over the possibility of moving out has quite a bit to do with her own fear of not being able to protect you and keep you close, and someone close to both of you may be best equipped to alleviate these fears.

Keep in mind that if you're over 18, you may be able to take out student loans on your own, although you might need an adult co-signer. I'm sure this would be the last resort as you don't want to alienate your parent and I also recognize that they may now be contributing to or paying your tuition. It's something to keep in mind, however, if all else fails.

Also, I'd suggest speaking to someone in your school's financial aid office. They may have some other ideas as to how you can get help paying for your room and board.

Good luck!

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